2022.01.27 20:36 Casper_Von_Ghoul Cease the Lewding!
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2022.01.27 20:36 LSF_repostBot Toast learns about Pokemon compatibility
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2022.01.27 20:36 depressedorca I literally love music omg
2022.01.27 20:36 parduscat At-Grade Chicago "L" Pink Line Cicero Station
2022.01.27 20:36 gurmtle Theological Conservatives in Other Countries
So theologically conservative viewpoints, (that is to say generally higher views of inerrancy, and some degree of literal biblical interpretation for example) in the United States are generally tightly tied to Republican politics and American Evangelical culture. I was curious if anyone had any insights to what people with the theological viewpoints I listed above looked like in other countries?
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2022.01.27 20:36 EstrayOne Something about this sim that still gives the best feel imo
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2022.01.27 20:36 tequilitas I [30F] can't decide if I want to end my 12 year relationship with my partner [45M]
This is a Repost
OP is u/mayonnaisepies
Note: I omitted the first post related to the situation since it was too similar to the original below. OOP calls the partner a spouse but they were never married.
I posted a week or two ago, I honestly can't keep track of time any more. The gist is, been together 12 years, so many aspects of our relationship are great, but I am unfulfilled in 2 major ways. Life experiences/adventure, and sexually. He is an introverted homebody. I conformed to his lifestyle and told myself for a long time that the positives of being with him far outweighed the negatives, and that I didn't really care about getting to do the things I want to do. Over the past few years, my depression and anxiety has increased a lot, and through working on myself, starting to do things I want to do alone, and make friends again, I feel conflicted about if I want to continue my relationship with him.
To make matters worse, I did make a connection with another man, who has a lot of similar interests and life goals as me. I know this is clouding my judgement, but it's what happened. My spouse knows this. I have been honest. I know I'm emotionally cheating. I know I'm in the wrong. I never meant for this to happen, I was honestly just trying to do what my therapist and I had discussed, which was make friends, and stop isolating. I have other friends of both genders that I talk to, I didn't seek this out. It honestly just happened. We connected.
I definitely am a people pleaser, and it's very hard for me to put myself first. After talking to my therapist extensively, as well as friends and family, all have given the same advice, which is that I need to think about what I want, and let other people react to that how they want. I can't manage everyones feelings. So, I have told him recently that I am sorry but I am lost, and I need to find myself. I have not made any decisions about anything, I am sorry that I am hurting him and leaving him in limbo, but I don't know who I am or what I want. He basically told me, "go have fun with your new boyfriend, let me know when it's time to sell the house" which I understand and deserve. To be clear, my intention is not at all to go sleep with this other person. My real intention is to just take time to reflect, and not feel like I'm pretending everything is ok when it isn't. I want to go grab drinks with friends, and talk to who I want, and maybe join a gym, and honestly just reflect on my life and what I want. I made a choice for the rest of my life at 18 years old and I am not the same person anymore. I need to re-evaluate.
He said that he knows I sacrificed a lot to be with him, he does want me to be happy, he understands I need to figure shit out, but he's not happy about it. He also told me, I am the only good thing in his life, he can't stand to lose me, he's 45 and I am ripping his life away from him, if he loses me he has nothing.... those things really make me feel like I have to stay, I never want to hurt anyone. He also made some comments like "yeah, go to therapy and talk about whatever and your therapist can tell you to leave me, and read your books about how to stop people pleasing, and talk to your friends and family, but who do I have to turn to?" and it made me feel really guilty. At the same time, I'm not preventing him from getting a therapist, or getting his own books to help him understand himself, or talking to friends and family.
One thing he said that really bothered me and also keeps nagging at me. He said "It's so easy for another guy to come in, find your vulnerabilities, and manipulate you into thinking you are unhappy with me" ... and I wonder if he's right. Is that what happened? Or is he manipulating me by saying that? Because, why can't someone just like me? why cant I have just made a connection? why does it have to be just because I'm weak and easily manipulated? I also wonder, is that what he did to me when I was 18? I've never thought that before and still don't really think he intentionally thought ohh an 18 year old, she will be easy to control. But I do wonder if I was easy to control, convenient to be with, and pliable, and that was appealing to him subconsciously or something.
As you can see, I'm pretty confused. I'm really trying to put my feelings for this other guy aside, which I do feel I have compartmentalized a bit. It's not my feelings for him specifically clouding my judgement anymore... it's the fact that, I really want different things than my spouse wants. I really want to meet people, and have friends, and yes date and have sex. We only have sex a handful of times per year for 6+ years. I'm sure we could work on that, but right now I feel too uncomfortable and disconnected from him to want to have sex. I feel like I did everything backwards. We aren't married but I essentially became a wife at 18 and now I'm 30 and wanting to go back and do what I should have been doing my entire 20s - trying new things, meeting new people, traveling, making career choices with only myself in mind, figuring out what kind of person I want to be/what I want. I'm very confused.
How can I separate what I want from my guilt over hurting him? I felt very confident earlier today, that yes, I need to take care of myself and do what makes me happy. And then he came home from work, and was very melancholy. We didn't talk that much. He went to bed alone. I can see and feel his pain. And it honestly makes me sick to my stomach.
TL;DR - I have such conflicting feelings/guilt. After my last post with a lot of people harping on the age difference and how wrong our relationship is, it's been nagging at me. But I also don't know if I'm just using that as an excuse to ease my own guilt about leaving? I worry that I'm like, painting him in a bad light just so I wont feel like the bad guy if I choose to leave.
UPDATE (2.5 Months Later)
So, I did it. I left him. After really considering what everyone had to say, and talking to my therapist, friends, family, him, an extremely kind redditor who has spent many many hours listening to me and giving me advice, (even still to this day), and yes, even my crush... I just realized that I couldn't spend any more time questioning things, wondering what else was out there. I had to give myself a chance to have the life I really want.
It's been about 2 months now. We are still living together because we own the home, though I am only sleeping here 3 or so nights per week. We are completely civil with each other. He will be buying me out of the house, for less than I'd get if we sold it, but I don't want to go through the hassle of selling/make him have to uproot his life as well. I'm interviewing for some jobs so I can increase my income and afford to purchase a condo on my own, eventually. There's no time table for when I have to leave, I can take my time since I also own this house. I've been staying in the guest room the nights I am here.
I have also been dating my crush, and honestly it is going so well. He's more than a crush at this point, I feel incredibly guilty saying this but I am happier then I have been in a very very long time. Being with someone my own age is really different, and being with someone who really wants to experience life in the same way that I do is blissful. He is so outgoing and social, and just everything we do together is so much fun. I have done more with him in the past 2 months than I have done in the past 10 years, in all honesty. We have gone to a wine tasting, a beer festival, some town events, a few restaurants, gone on hikes with and without my dog, watched the sunset by the river, many many bars with and without friends, bbqs, birthday parties, gone out shopping, danced together in his living room, had a fire in the backyard while drinking wine, and the list goes on. This weekend we are going out of town to visit one of my friends and her boyfriend - a double date night. He bought us tickets to a concert for one of my favorite bands in November and we are making a weekend of it. We cook together, he cooks for me, I cook for him, we go to the gym together (I had never really gone before but he is really into fitness so he's been training me)... And on top of all of that, the sex is fucking mind blowing. We want the same things for our futures, and he encourages me that I can make more of myself than what I have so far. We just have such a great time together.
I have also been spending time reconnecting with friends of my own, and it feels amazing to have female friendships again. I literally didn't have that for over a decade. I went out of state one weekend with one friend, and we just talked the whole time about everything you could imagine. We laughed, we cried, we gave each other advice, we shared things with each other. It was just really fulfilling! I can't believe everything I have been missing out on... even just friendships like this. I was so isolated.
I feel like an awful person still for leaving such a long relationship, especially since it took another man to open my eyes to how unhappy I really was. But looking back, I was so unhappy for so long, and I just didn't understand why. And now it's much more clear. My ex is a good person and I still don't know how I feel about the age difference, but I do know that it broke my heart to break his. It really did. I still cry about it sometimes, not because I question my choice... but because I don't. I'm excited to move out, I'm excited to get my own place and focus on my career and myself, the way I should have done years ago... And that really rips me up. Spend 12 years with someone and suddenly you just want to go. He didn't deserve this. It's very difficult for me to be around him because I just feel so terrible, even though he tells me it's ok and he has made his peace with it.
I just thought I'd update. There's still a long road ahead in all of this, but I feel like I'm on the right path. Life is exciting and unpredictable again. For so long, every day was the same, and what I wanted was irrelevant.
TL;DR - I left him. I am incredibly happy, and while I do feel really guilty about that, I am not wavering in my choice. Thanks to everyone who told me to put myself first for a change.
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2022.01.27 20:36 leonstar007 This sums it up pretty well with Earl, Frank and Tyler
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2022.01.27 20:36 premiumfakevibes Don't Worry Baby
2022.01.27 20:36 cheeekywes [US-CA] [H] Sage U80, Blue-Gray Mode65, White 7V, Black Bauer 2 [W] PayPal
- T I M E S T A M P -
Clearing out the collection to make room for incoming boards. Please comment before PM (no chats). Prices include shipping to CONUS. Priority goes to local sales (91776).
Rama U80 (Sage) - $650
2022.01.27 20:36 MandrewDavis [USA-FL] [H] MSI GTX 960 4GB, EVGA 550W PSU [W] Paypal, Local Cash
Bought here on hardwareswap and has been in my computer for the past three years. Never overclocked by me and has seen very little gaming use, mostly used for CAD work. Selling because I'm moving to a smaller case and bought a shorter 960 on here last week.
Asking $115 plus shipping
A few years ago I was convinced my PSU died and bought this in a pinch. Turns out my motherboard went out so this has sat in my closet since.
Asking $10 plus shipping
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2022.01.27 20:36 LSF_repostBot Connor enjoys pokemons stunning graphics
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2022.01.27 20:36 Psychological-Gear44 Does v sync make my game more laggy whenever i have it on gta it makes it more laggy and when off it’s better anyone know anything bout this
2022.01.27 20:36 Master-of-chaoss I made a nether portal
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2022.01.27 20:36 immivdb LIMITED SPOTS FOR ALFA CALL GROUP!
2022.01.27 20:36 Sunny_days123 Previous supervisor not releasing supervision hours
I am writing this to get either support or advice. I am a CSW and have officially completed all of the hours required for licensure. However, the issue is I left my previous place of employment in July of 2021 where I had approximately 50 hours or so before I was ready to test for my licensure. My place of employment was highly unethical and predatory towards pre-licensed therapists. I had to sign a contract for the agency that my supervision would be free as long as I worked for the agency for the time that is took to complete my supervision (x2). So for example, if it was going to take me two years to earn my full license that I would work for the company an additional two years, making it four years in total. If I were to leave before the four years were completed, I would pay the money back for supervision which would total around $3000 with the original contract I signed. Due to a clerical error on their part, I had to sign a second contract that would make me liable for approximately $11,000 should I leave early about a year into my employment with the agency.
When I signed the second contract, I feel that I had to or I would lose my job. I felt coerced to signed the second contract. Therefore, when I left the agency in July of 2021, I hired an attorney and we successfully got it negotiated to $5,000 that I would owe which they were not happy about. Due to unforeseen financial issues, I have had trouble getting all of the money together and they still have not been paid. However, they are refusing to send in my hours to the board so that I can test. I feel that this is a power play on their part because the agency sending in my hours to the board and me paying them are two complete separate issues. They have been highly difficult to work with, even my attorney has mentioned this and they are retaliating against me for leaving. I feel that ethically, the hours should have been sent in when I left their agency and in fact, this is what is suggested by the Social Work board of the state I am in. I have contacted my board with minimal response. They have said they plan to reach out to the agency but to my knowledge, they have yet to do so. This has been a very frustrating experience to me because I just want to test and put the company behind me. It is preventing me from being able to be fully licensed.
Any words of comfort or advice would be greatly appreciated. It seems that my hands are tied at this point, and of course I am worried that what if they don't send in proof of me completing the hours even after I pay them. This situation has weighed heavily on me since July and I am tired of stressing about it.
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2022.01.27 20:36 Bonus1Fact [News Shorts] I'm not a buyer for Netflix due to slowing subscriber growth, says Evercore's Mahaney ¦ CNBC on Youtube
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2022.01.27 20:36 Environmental-Idea89 What vitamins can give me a boost
I don't really need a mental boost or anything just smth to get me through first and second period. I tried coffee but I'm not using the nasty ass school bathrooms so that's out, but what vitamins could give me that extra boost. 14 years old, 135-140 lbs 5'11. I've read about B-6 and B-12, magnesium, Rhonda rosea or smth like that and ashwugands or smh. Do these work?
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2022.01.27 20:36 crimson_bottlebrush I made a virtual MD profile.
It’s a step. Tomorrow I’ll get online and ask for Naltrexone.
I needed to tell someone and y’all are the someones. Thanks for being here.
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2022.01.27 20:36 j33ta Starlink Sales/Transfers Allowed?
I saw a post a few months back about starlink now allowing transfers and I have a dish I've been using for about a year now that works great. However, I was able to get a hardwired connection through telus a few months back and I no longer have a need for the starlink dish.
Is it allowed to post for sale posts in this subreddit? And if so, would anybody be interested in purchasing it?
I have all the original accessories in mint condition and the box and packaging as well.
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2022.01.27 20:36 GenericReditUserName I've played nearly every open world game out there & the depiction of Yellowstone National Park in Horizon Zero Dawn is still the most beautiful place I've ever seen in any game. I'm eagerly anticipating to see how Guerilla is going to depict Yosemite National Park in the sequel
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2022.01.27 20:36 EgomanSui RELI 103 Last Semester?
2022.01.27 20:36 LSF_repostBot Mathil deals with a ban evader
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2022.01.27 20:36 wtfunnytv How To Make A Yarn Dog – DIY Woolen Dog
2022.01.27 20:36 -PapaDontPeach- Oh, I'm sure it's going to get mental alright...
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